Bananaquinns's Blog

sigh

bananaquinns — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:58:47 +0000

I have had worse days in my life so I don’t know why the past few days have been so frustrating.
Maybe it’s the 2 tickets – one of which I have to go to court for…talking on my cell phone even though I wasn’t talking I was listening to a voice mail and it was from someone who wasn’t worth the ticket. and my intercom system in my apt doesn’t work…it keeps going off and off and off and so I duct taped a sock to it so muffle the sound. mother fucker I’ve been up since quarter to 4.

obsessed isn’t strong enough

bananaquinns — Tue, 12 May 2009 04:37:32 +0000

I’m lame and find comfort / hope / whatever in songs.
I this one I freaking loved even before I got it translated it.

I want this

—-
translation:
everything changed when i saw you
from black and white into color i became

and it was so easy
to love you so much
something i never imagined
was giving my love with one look

everything shaked/ trembled inside of me
the universe wrote you were for me

and it was so easy
to love you so much
something i never imagined
was to lose myself in your love
it just happened
and i am already all yours

before spending more time with you, love
i have to say you are the love of my life
before loving you more
listen, please
let me say that i gave you everything
and there’s no way to explain or see this
i just felt it

when i saw you
everything in you
surprised me
from black and white into color
i became

i know it’s not easy
to say I love you
I was not expecting this either
but love is like this
it just happened
and i am already all yours

rant

bananaquinns — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:04:17 +0000

I’m titling this post as it is (or will be) a rant. I just got back to my hotel room from a long day. I’m at a work conference. Its early mornings and long nights. I woke up at 530am and it’s currently quarter til 1am and I just called the front desk to schedule a 515am wake up call. But thats not really what I want to rant about. Today basically when how I hoped it wouldn’t. I was looking forward to this conference for one reason – I was going to meet a guy I had been talking too a lot for work. I googled him discovered he was hot and pretty much had hoped to have to opportunity to flirt. While in person this guy is way hotter than his picture and he & I did chat. My daydream of actually spending time with him isn’t going to happen cuz he leaves tomorrow. I had wished when we were talking I mentioned tonights event but I forget and I didn’t run into him the rest of the day. boo. but I guess in all reality the odds of that working out were slim to none—though I do hope I well have a chance to chat a bit with him tomorrow.

I guess this isnt sounding too ranty yet, so here goes. At this evenings events I got annoyed as I do with the girls at work. It’s a combination of not fitting in with them and thinking they are unprofessional and annoying that drives me nuts. They show up in pack, they dress alike and the all proceed to get trashed. and people fall over them (yes a couple of them did actually fall over themselves due to drunkeness) but I mean the guys fall over them. talk to them, ogle them, flirt with them, approach them and I hate it. I feel like me and my stressed out chubby-self can never compete for the spotlight. The only guy who pays me one ounce of attention his married and I can’t really figure out why we get along but at these conferences somehow we always end up meeting up, walking places together, sitting by each other and it’s nice to know I have buddy but at the same time I always feel complainy and I actually dont like complaining. After the event and everyone was walking back to the hotel, this coworker we saw his employee stumbling around the street, talking about how her butt crack is showing, just being stupid drunk and I asked him how he can see his employee act like this and not think less of her and his response was basically he doesn’t think a lot of her to begin with and nothing he gives her it that hard anyway. ahhh that ticks me off to watch these girls dancing like strippers on the light poles and thinking how they can walk around so carefree because no one really cares enough. I feel bad for them but jealous too cuz I wish I had that sometimes.

sigh. it’s now just past one and I really should just go to bed since i’ll only be getting 4 hrs of sleep. but I hate that tons of other people are out at the bars still and they have to work at the same time I do.

eh

bananaquinns — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 06:36:12 +0000

I just got back to my hotel room after spending the evening with my cousin….and she already uploaded the pictures we took tonight…I look like the worlds biggest fattie. I seriously look gross. chubby cheeks, tired eyes, ugly hair, saggy boobs and a double chin. I wish I could be more photogenic

forgive me I’m tipsy

bananaquinns — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:44:35 +0000

I hated every minute of work today. There was the off occasion today when I laughed or smiled but it was out of sheer insanity. So for the first time ever in my life, I went out drinking alone. which is sorta sad. But I went to the bar across the street for dinner and had more than enough beer and as I sit here I’m drinking another beer I dug out of my fridge.

AH.

It’s days like today I wish I could just quit. Not put in two weeks notice, just quit. Just walk the fuck out of my job and never look back. I hit my threshold today. I’ve been as tolerant as possible with my boss. I’ve helped her out, I’ve answered her questions, but today her annoying presence went beyond my ability to be nice. The good/hilarious/unfortunate thing is I am incapable of really being flat out rude. I felt curt and rude but I know on the outside I probably wasn’t rude. She is so weird, social awkward that she probably wouldn’t even know if someone was being rude anyway.

I just spent the past hour on the phone with my mom. I think this is the first official drunk-ish phone conversation I’ve had with her (that I remember). She gave me good advice – I need to talk to Pants. It’s time to sit her down and just let her know what’s up. Let her know I am willing to help out but I am not her personal secretary, I am not there to print her crap, staple it, and mail it. If she needs a personal assistant it is not me. I even though I know I’ll feel rude doing it, for my sanity sake I need to do it.

WORD.

occasional issues

bananaquinns — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 00:52:09 +0000

I’m feeling pretty annoyed right now. I hate to admit that I’m disappointed with my life but sometimes I think the only way to get over something is to just say it. say it out loud (or in my case right now write it and put it out). I look at other people and I think they have amazing flawless lives. I sit on the bus and see these other people with their perfectly accessorized outfits and I wonder if they ever get a boil in a horrible place. It would make me feel better to know that they had to run to walgreens that morning to grab a can of Tinactin to spray on their toes before slipping them into their polished shoes. I wish people would just come out and admit that they are flaw-filled, ointment rub-ers.

re:reading

bananaquinns — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 04:33:07 +0000

I was looking over my Shelfari.com account (it basically is a virtual bookshelf of everything you’ve read or will admit to reading) and I realized a lot of books I read in college I don’t really remember or even could tell you what they were about or am curious to see what my take on it is now years later. So I’ve decided to re-read some of them.

List:

Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett
Candide by Voltaire
Seamus Heaney poetry
Milton

I’ve also decided I need to read some Margaret Atwood – back in college my writing professor who encouraged me in my writing told me that my writing reminded him of her style. And I read a story by her one and I liked it but was scared to read more outta fear I’d hate it .

why does this hurt?

bananaquinns — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 04:00:47 +0000

I was on facebook looking through new pictures posted a I saw a bunch of pictures posted of coworkers. So I looked them over and realized that most of the girls who are the same age (give or take) have been getting together for girls night after work…and even if I had to pick friends these girls wouldn’t be it I still feel lame that I got left out. I wish I enjoyed the company of my coworkers more and then maybe I wouldn’t freaking hate my job so much.

twitter is like high school

bananaquinns — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:29:58 +0000

only it isn’t. some people are attention whores. some people are lame. and people are all judgy about who you follow and who you don’t or won’t or whatever. I just got a DM from a girl from college who was in my circle of friends though we werent all that close. Apparently some random friend of her followed me and so I followed them (cuz I figure why that’s how twitter works right?) …well this girl is all like I dont understand why you are following her if you don’t know her…WHO CARES?

I want this…

bananaquinns — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 04:24:28 +0000

“Lucky” Official Video With Colbie Caillat